The Trick to Having Morals

Let’s face it, even with the best of intentions, it can be hard to hold fast to socialist principles in a capitalist society. How do we live under capitalism, and even reject capitalism, without participating in it? I mean, without going “off the grid” and engaging in pseudo-intellectual, entitled-hippie, performative bullshit?

Try as we might to avoid crossing picket lines, it can be really difficult to keep track of which of the 10 corporations own which subsidiaries, which CEOS are part of a pedophilia day camp for adults, and who is straight up dumping toxic sludge wherever they want. I think you know where I’m headed with this — “there is no ethical consumption under capitalism.” So again, I will ask — how do we even have morals in America?

Over the years, I’ve developed a few strategies that have worked wonders. I can be a progressive, democratic socialist, while still looking extremely cute and buying whatever I want! The trick to having morals in this country is actually pretty simple. Just give up on trying!

Only shop online when you’re drunk, so you don’t feel as bad in the moment and can later blame the purchases on the ‘tron. Remind yourself that 100 companies are responsible for more than 70% of all carbon emissions, so it really doesn’t matter if you’re too lazy to rinse out your plastic to-go containers and just toss them in the trash instead. Not like recycling helps anyway! And Amazon Prime? Use it! Get those essentials that are always in stock at your locally-owned bodega literally 100 feet away delivered in two days! Who even fucking cares!

Take my advice, or don’t. I really don’t have the energy to care! Happy shopping!